She Must Die

Just so you know, if you don't hear from me for a long period of time pretty soon, it's because I've been thrown in jail for murdering my office manager (aka The Fat Bitch From Hell). I'm right now just about hyperventilating from the incredible heat of my hatred for her right now. I'm longing for the days of her being on vacation, and she's only been back for about a day and an hour already.

Here's just one example of why she has to die:

This morning, she came in, took a file from the shelves against the wall in our office, and put it onto the counter between our desks. It's a 2 PM appointment for one of the guys here that we have to do a statement for. It's been in here since yesterday. We knew we had to do it today. In fact, this morning when I got here, I looked at it and thought, "Okay, after I do this and this, I'll have to do that. He'll get pissy if he doesn't get the file at least 3 full hours before his actual appointment."

This is her idea of being an office manager. She points out things we already know in her passive agressive little way, and then pats herself on the back for "saving the day." Because Lord knows we are all nothing but retarded little monkeys who wouldn't know where to shit if she didn't point out the toilet. We survived, and did our jobs quite well, in the 4 days that she was gone last week. The business survived. We all survived. We all still knew what to do, even without her coming into our offices every two minutes, making sure we were working.

Dear God, that woman has got to be the most useless fixture in this office. I hope to everything holy that she is not in the office for my review in July. I'd like to express to my boss just how irritating she is, and how much more I'd like my job if she wasn't in my office, looking over my shoulder nearly as much. Chances are, though, that she'll be there. Because everyone knows nothing can happen unless she witnesses it.

*grumble, grumble, grumble*

*deep calming breaths*

*more deep calming breaths*

Screw it!

*goes off to kill her*