Just To Clear Something Up...

Just to clear something up:

-I am not a "5 Minute Man," and do not need help with my performance.

-I do not want free Pay Per View.

-I do not want to enlarge my penis by 1-3 inches.

-I do not have a need for diabetic socks. (I'm still trying to figure out how I got on the list for that one.)

-I do not need or want Viagra, Human Growth Hormone, or legal steroids.

-I do not want to look at free webcams.

-I have no interest whatsoever in looking at women with horses/dogs/any other animal.

-I never posted a message to you or anyone else on a personal ad site, and I don't want to check out your free site now.

-I do not want to increase my breast size - naturally! (Well, I'd like to, but I don't believe that crap actually works.)

-I am not worried about money. (This is a lie.)

-I don't need another mortgage.

-I don't want to make money for reading my e-mail.

-I don't want to be paid a huge sum of money for helping some strange person from a foreign country smuggle some money out of their country.

-I don't want to copy DVDs to CDs.

-I don't want to find out anything about anyone.

-I don't need to find out what my spouse and/or children are doing on the internet.

-I'm pretty sure I didn't actually win a free vacation.

Okay? So quit sending me shitty spam e-mails, you random people with no lives! Just stop it!

Ahhhh...now I feel better.