Tips for Karaoke

Doing karaoke at Weetacon last night for the first time in many years reminded me of a few tips I thought I'd share with anyone who actually reads this. Learn from my mistakes!

Tip #1: Make sure before you request a song that you've actually listened to it at least once in the last 5 years. Listening to it a few times in the last 5 years is even better.

Song(s) I learned this from: Lady Marmalade, Gin and Juice, Nothin' But a G Thang

Tip #2: If you're going to do a duet/trio/quartet, decide who is going to do what part before you actually get microphones in hand.

Song(s) I learned this from: Lady Marmalade

Tip #3: If you're going to do a rap song, it is incredibly helpful to actually know the song.

Song(s) I learned this from: Gin and Juice, Nothin' But a G Thang

Tip #4: No one raps as well as Jessi (biensoul). Certainly not me. I can try to fill in for her, but had no hope of actually being able to.

Song(s) I learned this from: Gin and Juice, Nothin' But a G Thang

Tip #5: If you don't have the vocal ability to perform a song you want to do, put your own spin on it. Sing it with gusto. Perform it with as much emotion as you possibly can. Turn it into a spoken-word performance. People will appreciate the effort you put into it.

Request for Donations

I have actual entries to write and post soon, but I just wanted to post a quick message. If you have a couple of minutes, please check out this project on Kickstarter.org. I went to school with the editor of the project and have made a $75 pledge to help them out.

Please take a look at the short video and make a donation if you can afford to do so. It looks like the finished film will be phenomenal!

Believe the Beat: Hip Hop Dance in Rio de Janiero

Thanks! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Commercials That Annoy Me, Part 1

There are a bunch of commercials on TV these days that either piss me off or make me laugh every time I see them. Following are some of those commercials and explanations for why they're on my shit list.

*************************************

*The Volkswagen Routan commercial in which they show a dad driving a bunch of kids around, during which they watch people punch each other in the arm and say, "Blue one!" Then the dad gets the car home, one kid says, "Can we do it again?" and the dad says yes. Really, Volkswagen? Is this a family of sadists, who just like driving around and causing people to punch each other? Why don't you find a less evil hobby?

*Those J.G. Wentworth commercials with people screaming out their windows that "it's my money and I need it now!" That's nice, people. However, unless the annuity company has a representative standing on the street near your house, shut the hell up. Then again, you can always tell the cops why you were screaming out your window when they show up after someone calls to report a noise complaint. I think you'd have better luck just calling the toll-free number on the commercial. That, and your neighbors will be a bit less likely to kill you.

*The Pep Boys commercials with the people talking to the Pep Boys bobble head dolls. Excuse me, people...those are (not living) bobble head dolls that you are talking to and expecting answers from. In reality, that would get you thrown in the hospital on a 5150 hold for 72 hours, so they can make sure you're a) sane and b) not a danger to yourself or others. If you're going to talk to inanimate objects, maybe you should try to do it only in the comfort of your own home, so you have fewer witnesses to your insanity.

Things Are Not Always As They Seem

I know that people probably think that my life is all wine and roses, or at least that it must seem like that from the outside. Most people think "Oh, she's so lucky. She doesn't have to work!"

However, the reality of the situation is this: In one year of dating and eight years, four months and five days of marriage, the longest I have ever seen my husband is one month, and that was once, in September of 2009, when he took his sabbatical from work. The next longest amount of time is probably two weeks, and that occurs about once a year, usually around Christmastime.

Recently, my husband worked from home for two weeks during the holiday season and I loved having him home all that time. However, his going back to work was made even more sad by the fact that I know I won't see him for more than three days in a row again until...August. The August that is seven months from now.

In truth, I would gladly trade not having to work for being able to see my husband more than 3 days a week. Having to cram a week's worth of living into three days at a time is not only unrealistic, it's also totally exhausting. During weeks when we have my step-daughter over the weekend, we end up getting about five hours of quality alone-time on Sunday night to relax and enjoy each others company before we have to go to bed. Five hours a week. Woo!

When people ask me about having babies, my stock response is "when The Mister stops traveling so much". Who knows when that will be, but that's pretty much what is required. Otherwise, I would be pregnant and still in charge of cleaning the litter boxes a few times a week, which I understand is somewhat of a problem for pregnant ladies. (Well, if you're susceptible to toxoplasmosis, which not all women are.) But still... I have no desire to be either pregnant or have a small child while still being on my own most of the time.

Now, being alone quite a lot of the time isn't always bad. I think I'm better at problem-solving certain issues, and I'm much more independent than I would be otherwise. I also don't get tired of The Mister being around when he actually is, like a lot of other women seem to. I think that, though, is another one of those things where the grass is always greener.

I look forward to the day when I can actually see and interact with my husband on a daily or almost-daily basis. Hopefully that won't be another nine years from now. *fingers crossed!*

Finally Posting Old Entries

Hey everyone!

Please do not adjust your televisions (or laptops...you know what I mean). I am actually updating again. I decided to finally finish and publish some of the blog entries that have been sitting as "drafts" since last year sometime. Sorry if they're less than timely.

I have these huge mental lists of things I want to write about, and they're starting to take up too much room in my brain. I need to start taking 10 minutes to write about my day, or whatever's on my mind. I recently had to write down all my various medical diagnoses and the approximate dates they were diagnosed. Luckily, I have a lot of that information in this blog. I was able to come here, do a quick search and find what I needed.

I think I need to stop being so focused on being funny or amusing and just write about what's going on. I have plenty of funny and/or amusing entries already.

Besides, it's not like I have the 150 readers on this blog that I did on my old one. *grin* Just kidding! That's not why I write!

Another conversation

My husband and I were on the phone this past Monday night. (No, that's not the funny part.) While we were talking, I was trying to clear a space on the dining room table so I could lay out some newspaper on which I could repaint our wind chime. Here's how it went:

Me: Ew. I found some weird sticky red stuff on the table.
TheMr.: What is it?
Me: I do not know. I had to scrape it off, though.
TheMr.: I think TheChild was eating something near the middle chair this weekend.
Me: Well, the spot I found at first was near the end of the table. Then I looked and found another red sticky spot of ick near the middle chair. Jeez! How does she manage to get stuff on everything?!?*
TheMr.: *laughs*
Me: I still like my idea of cutting a head hole in a large vinyl tablecloth and making her wear it while she eats.**
TheMr.: We could do that!
Me: Of course, that wouldn't protect the house. Maybe we should make her wear the tablecloth/bib and then cover everything near her with plastic.
TheMr.: Maybe we should just start making her eat everything outside.


*Earlier this year, we had to establish a "no wiping your hands on the dog!" rule, after I discovered strawberry jelly that had dried on Sawyer's back.

**On Sunday morning TheChild and TheMister went to Panera to get breakfast stuff and bring it back to the house. During the ride home, TheChild managed to spill hot chocolate on her (brand freaking new) skirt. Once they were home, she managed to spill hot chocolate all down the front of her (brand freaking new) shirt.

An Update To An Old Expression

This morning, while TheMister was getting all of his stuff gathered so that he could throw it into the truck and drive to Indy, we had a very amusing conversation.

I said, "Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch?*"

He said, "Actually, for me it's more like 'spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch, keys, cell phone, iPod'."

And with that, an old expression has been updated.

*'Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch' is an old expression I learned from an ex that was supposed to help men make sure they had everything they needed before they left the house. (And, according to J-Sis, is also how the Catholic church teaches children how to cross themselves.)