Why? She's had chronic pyelonephritis pretty much since we got her. For the last few years, she would be sick about a week or two, during which we'd give her antibiotics and pain medication, and then she would get better for a few months before having another bout of "the pee-pee" (as we called it). The past four or five months, though, it has been pretty much continuous.
When she was sick it must have been hell for her. She was constantly on "high alert" and ready to run if anyone moved anywhere near her. She was never truly relaxed, even when she was sleeping or when someone was petting her. That, even on its own, must have been exhausting for her.
She felt like she was peeing razor blades because of the crystals in her urine. Giving her the medicine that would make her feel better required two people. We knew that someday her kidneys would fail and we'd have to give her IV fluids under the skin of her back - something that sounded even less possible.
She was also fighting with the two other cats and had started hiding behind things so she could ambush the puppy and smack him around. She spent most of her time hiding or sleeping in our bedroom. I felt like I barely saw her for the past few months, except for the times when she was sick and would follow me around and bite me if I didn't pet her.
Basically, it came down to one thing: her quality of life was suffering. So, we called the vet this past Thursday and made an appointment for Friday at 3:00 PM. As soon as he got off the phone, TheMister became emotional, as did I. We were making a life-or-death decision for another living being and neither of us was 100% sure that it was the right one. We both wanted to make sure that we were doing it for the right reasons...because it was best for her and not because we had gotten tired of cleaning her pee off everything we owned.
On Friday morning we went to find a nice box to bury her in and a statue of some kind as a memorial for her, to place over her grave. Then we ran to Lowe's to buy some rose bushes to plant around her. We also gave her a can of tuna fish a couple of hours before her appointment. We figured she deserved a treat.
The drive to the vet's office was emotional and difficult. I had hoped to at least make it to the vet's office before I lost it, but I only made it about 1/4 of the way there before I broke down. When we got to the vet's office, we brought the tissue box in from the truck because we knew we'd need tissues before we even got into the exam room.
The actual procedure was basically painless for Azrael...not so much for us. The vet explained everything he was going to do before he did it. He gave her an IM injection of anesthetic, told us that it would take 3 to 5 minutes for her to go into a sleep state and he would check on us in a few minutes. Once she was deep in the sleep state, he put the tourniquet around her front left leg, found a vein, and slowly injected more of the anesthetic into it. We waited a minute while the vet listened to her heart. He said, "her heart has in fact stopped. You can stay in here for as long as you like. Again, I'm so sorry."
When all was said and done, the thing that struck both of us about the whole situation was that when we brought her into the exam room, we removed the top of the carrier she was in and she just laid there. She seemed totally relaxed. Normally when I take her to the vet she's freaking out and frantically looking for somewhere to hide. I think it says a lot that despite our being in the exam room at the vet's office while we waited for him to euthanize her, she was calmer than she had been in probably six months. I think she was ready.
We brought her home and took the top off the carrier so Sawyer and Callie could smell her to see what was going on and/or to say goodbye. Then TheMister put her into the box we bought for her, surrounded by soft mauve fleece, curled up like she used to curl up in her bed.
We buried her and put in the rose bushes this afternoon. We both think that area is very pretty now.
Below are some more pictures.
Close-up of the angel statue
Rest in peace, Azrael. We will miss you.
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