Boxing at work

WARNING: RANT TO FOLLOW.

You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to bring a giant boxing ring into work. I'd like to set it up, and have everyone who has a problem with someone else here to fight them. I think just beating the shit out of someone would be quite cathartic for some of the people here. (Okay, for me too.)

Seriously. My work environment has sucked for quite a while now, but in the last few weeks it's taken a turn for the worse. Everyone here hates or is pissed off at everyone else. There are a few of us who have a problem with "The Princess," the Big Kahuna's Executive Assistant, because when she has a problem with someone she tends to talk/bitch to everyone BUT the person she has a problem with. Excuse me? Unprofessional, much? She shouldn't be surprised when it gets back to the person she's been bitching about that she's been talking to people about them. Gee, whoulda thunk it? People in this office gossiping? NEVER!

Then there are the people in this office who I swear must either be manic depressive or have some sort of horomonal problem. Some days they walk around singing and smiling, and other days (or maybe even morning vs. afternoon) they walk around grumbling and snarling. I don't want to have to walk past someone's office a few times in order to gauge their mood before I decide if it's safe to talk to them or not.

People should be civil to everyone, whether you're in a shitty mood or not. This is work. It's a professional environment. You are a professional. Act like it!

Don't gossip, don't talk shit behind people's backs and neglect to have the balls to talk to them yourself, don't be a giant BASTARD just because you're having a bad day. Don't micromanage other people because you can't come up with enough work to do on your own.

Don't blame people being on the internet occasionally for them making tiny mistakes, like forgetting to change a client's name on something. WE ARE HUMAN. It's called "human error." If you want 100% perfect employees that never make mistakes, fire everyone who works here and hire robots or automatons. People who work here are on the internet IN BETWEEN tasks. As long as we get our work done, who cares if we check out a few non work-related websites every day?

If I wasn't essentially STUCK HERE because of having to pay for a house, bills, and school, I would have my ass out looking for a new job faster than you can say "Assweasels." I've put up with this shit for more than two years now. I suppose I can take it for one more year.
I have a feeling that with all the anger/frustration/disappointment/seething hatred brewing in this office, something is going to snap soon. I just don't want to be in the crossfire when it does.

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UPDATE: I wrote a haiku about this very topic! Check it out!

Kiss my little ass
you bastard scum coworkers
I need a new job